Last Words

We all sometimes think of the last words we will say before we die. “I love you.” “keep my kids safe.” words we all wish to say. I don’t know what the last words were of the kid I knew (well I still think of him as a kid) before he died over the weekend. I know his last tweet was a reply to where he had been for the previous week. Minutes if not seconds later he is dead. Damn.

I did not know him well. I was in his oldest sisters class at the private school I attended from first to eleventh grade. I still grieve for him and his family. For the loss of life of both him, his wife and their unborn child. I grieve for the young child they left behind. Sure their time on earth was complete and they are with their maker in heaven and we should be glad of that, but they left a child behind who will never truly know his parents.

Grief is different for us all. I am in shock knowing that I knew this young man and he is now gone. His family has a long road of grieving and healing while mine will disappear faster because I did not know him as well as they did.

I wish all the families involved in this tragedy healing and comfort. If you need someone just to listen I am here.

Cow’s it going?

Cow’s it going?

Oh don’t be COWardly …. tell me.

Are you COWrazy today?

COWd you please MOOve over?

Oh that was udderly hysterical, was it not?

My friends knowing that I love cows love coming up with all these silly things to add cows to the conversation.  Some I can’t help but laugh and others….yeah I roll my eyes.

My son one day came up to me and said “Mommy, I have a knock, knock joke.”

Okay tell me, I told him.

Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

Moo.

Moo Who?

Silly, cows just moo not whooo.

LOL. that was pretty funny.

So what’s up with cow today?

Are cow having a good day?

Cown you laugh at these ridiculous jokes or should I tell more?

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef?

What does a cow write with?

A bullpen.

Where do cows like to go in space?

The Milky Way.

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bull-dozer.

What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?

Bullogna

What do cows get when they are sick?

Hay Fever

What are the spots on black-and-white cows?

Holstaines 

Why does a milking stool have only three legs?

Because the cow has the udder.

Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don’t work.
What do you call a cow who just recently had its baby?
Decalfinated
There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, “Why didn’t you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied, “We bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.”
A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows. The driver, getting out to see what was the matter, noticed one of the cows looking at him. “I believe it’s your radiator,” said the cow. The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches! He ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door. “A cow just gave me advice about my car!” he shouted, waving his arms franticly back toward the field. The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the door frame to glance down the field. “The cow with two big black spots on it?” the farmer asked slowly. “Yes! Yes! That’s the one!” the excited man replied. “Oh. Well, that’s Ethel,” the farmer said, turning back to the man. “Don’t pay any attention to her. She doesn’t know a thing about cars.”
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
An udder failure.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues
What do you call a grumpy cow?
Moo-dy
Where do cows go in the afterlife?
Moo Moo Land
Famous philosophy, done for cows:
    Nietzsche: To moo is to be.
    Sartre:  To be is to moo.
    Sinatra:  Moo be moo be moo.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Mooney.
What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?
How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
It’s a place of udder delight.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs?
Side of beef
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg?
Steak
 A bum steer is a worthless bull.
A stockholder is a corral for cattle.
Moscow doesn’t make as much milk as Pa’s cow.
When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
Why is a barn so noisy?
All the cows have horns.
What did one cow say to the other?
Nothing silly, cow’s don’t talk.
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
He’s got no beef.
What animals do you bring to bed?
Your calves.
What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody’s herd.
Where do cows like to live?
St. Moo-is, Moo-ssouri, and Moo Jersey.
What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
Why can’t you shock cows?
They’ve herd it all.
A young man visits a Dude Ranch.  He wanted to be “Macho”, and went out walking with one of the ranch hands. Walking through the barnyard, the dude started a conversation; “Say, look at that big bunch of cows.” The hired hand replied, “Not bunch, but herd”. “Heard what?” “Herd of cows”. “Sure, I’ve heard of cows, there’s a big bunch of ’em right over there.”
What goes oo ooo oooo?
A cow with no lips.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
The farmer had been taken so many times by the local car dealer that when the dealer wanted to buy a cow, the farmer priced it to him like this:
Basic cow, $200; two-tone exterior, $45; extra stomach $75; product storage compartment, $60;
dispensing device, four spigots at $10 each, $40;
genuine cowhide upholstery, $125; dual horns, $15; automatic fly swatter, $35. Total = $595.
 Q:  Where does a cow stop to drink?

  A:  The milky way!
  Q:  What does an invisible man drink?
  A:  Evaporated milk!
  Q:  Where do cows go for lunch?
  A:  The calf-eteria.
  Q:  Where do cows go on dates?
  A:  The moo-vies!
  Q:  What do you call a tired cow?
  A:  Milked out!
 I hope cow find this as udderly funny to read as I did writing it. 😉

The Adventures of Psycho the Calf: Caught

I had a pleasant night. Hung out with the older cows. Slept with them for the night. In the morning…once again a monster showed up… I tried to run away but got stuck between two bigger cows and (sigh) he caught me. Picked me up and carried me up and back into the cage. Put the big metal cage up again too. I can’t get out. 😦 Spent the day hanging out in the evil cage until another monster showed up. This one wasn’t too bad. She did put something on my face which I can not get off. Said something about wanting something to grab onto in case I escape again. She rubbed me, which felt nice, and gave me some nice warm milk, which was so yummy! I hope to be able to escape and find Mom soon. I am beginning to think though that this time I am stuck. 😦

The Adventures of Psycho the Calf

I was born out in a nice field on Sunday. The day was perfect. Mom cleaned me up and then I spent the day walking and sometimes running around the field with Mom and the other cows in the herd. Late in the day I saw a couple of monsters and I ran away… Mom followed. Early the next morning some more monsters came and chased me and Mom. They trapped Mom but I was really fast and was able to get away. Then…. One monster jumped on me… It terrified me…the monsters had me.  They dragged me up into this strange place and stuck me in a cage. Later in the day a big monster poked me with something really sharp…. I didn’t like that at all. When it was dark this terrifying noise started and I jumped out of the cage and went to look for Mom…. I went to the field but couldn’t find her. Late in the day I’m calling and calling for her when another monster finds me. I go running down to end of the field and hide. A little while later a monster that moved very fast and made a lot of noise came by but I stayed hidden. I’m still hiding hoping the monsters don’t find me.

So You Hate Babies? Or Just This One

Everyone today has been talking about the Royal Baby (whose name at this time I still do not know). I have seen people all excited about it and people who are ticked off about all the people who are excited about it.

So I want to ask all those people (those who are annoyed with all the Royal Baby talk) have you never been excited about a baby? Be it yours, a friends, or a family member? And you have never talked about being excited about it?

If you have not then please feel free to complain…I will even try to commiserate with you (because honestly I am excited last Royal Baby I remember was Prince Harry and I was ridiculously young since I am only a few months older than William). Everyone else…..Let it go…. We had to listen to you blather on about the upcoming birth and then the birth so let those who are thrilled about this baby be excited and blather too.

I love babies…And I do not care what species they are. Babies are a continuation of life. A reminder that life goes on. Each birth and life is precious and should be celebrated….whether it is a prince or a lowly bug.

So here I say “Congratulations William and Kate. Enjoy him for all too soon your baby will be grown.”

BrokenWing

“With her broken wing she carries her dreams. Man, you ought to see her fly.”

This is from the song “Broken Wing” by Martina McBride. It is the inspiration for my dream. My dream like many dreams keeps changing and I hope improving.

It started with me going to college. I started the criminal justice associates program with the intention of becoming a forensic specialist. After a couple of Ecology classes I realized I am way too much of a farmer for that. So … what will I do with my degree….

Then it hit me. I’ll start a farm of my own. On this farm not only will we grow fruits, vegetables, herbs, and animals but we will help out women in the community. Lots of women’s shelters will not allow pets and the farm would be an alternative.

But I also like working with and helping out juveniles (teenagers). So I decided I also want to work with the juvenile diversion program. Have the kids work the farm…planting and weeding and harvesting… They will perform the community service that is decreed by the court by doing work that will end up benefiting the community as this food the community will eat. Wholesome and healthy fresh grown foods. Maybe a few kids will find that farming is for them and end up being successful and responsible members of the community by being farmers.

BrokenWing Farm will be the place where people with broken wings go and learn to fly.

 

To grieve or not to grieve? That should not be a question.

Friday I lost a dear friend of mine.  She was very young and her loss was devastating to me.  She was a cow.

image

Pumpkin was my baby. I don’t know what happened that resulted in her death but I am grieving for her.
What annoys me to no end are those people who say ‘it was just a cow?’
‘just a cow!?’ puh-lease. If you lost your pet dog or cat you would grieve.  You would be angry if someone said ‘it was just a dog/cat’.
Don’t take my grief and belittle it just cause I am grieving over an animal. They deserve our grief as much as the lost of a person. It’s the loss of life we grieve.  Life is precious and each life lost is a tragedy.
RIP my beloved Pumpkin 2/10/13-7/19/13