To My Dying Grandmother

Dear Grammie,

I took the kids to see you yesterday. It made me sad. You are not the grandmother I remember from my past. I miss you already. It may be days or weeks or months or hopefully years before you pass away and out of my life, but I already miss the person you were just a few months ago. The lady who would give me a big smile and say my name like it had been years since we saw each other. The lady who would always tell me about her rooster who hated everyone but her when I would mention something funny my chickens did. The woman who was always there for me and understood that I was a little different and had to forge my own path in the world. Who never made me feel like I had made a mistake in the choices I made, though she would clearly tell me she disagreed with me. Who even though your grandchildren weren’t always around, loved to tell people how proud she is of all of them.

I will miss you as you are the last grandparent I have left. I am glad I took the time to bring the kids to see you at least one last time. I don’t know if we will be able to go see you again. But know that we love you. I am glad for the time I have had with you and glad my children had this time to get to know you, though I know you wish we could have visited more.

Soon you will be off with your Winnie and Papa. Tell them hello for me. Maybe your rooster will be there waiting for you too, along with Brownie and the cats you enjoyed, and the parakeet, whose name I can’t remember.

I love you. 

 2014-08-03 15.09.10

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