Fear

My heart pounds. My breath quickens. The butterflies are doing loopty-loops in my stomach. I feel queasy. My head hurts. It pounds in pain. Okay…It’s time…. all I have to do is get up there and….talk…. sigh…I’ll be okay….no I won’t who am¬†I kidding….there are people….right there….in the seats…..watching me…..

I hate public speaking. It is the worst thing ever in my opinion. I can not talk in front of a bunch of people. I can not sing in front of a bunch of people. Bunch is not necessarily a specific number….It’s more the being the only person front and center. Standing in a group is one thing. Being in front up on a pedestal …nope not interested.

However, I am forcing myself to do this. I can not let my fear win. It is a struggle every time to force myself to put myself in a situation I know I am not comfortable in.

So here I am in front of the class….All I have to do is speak for FIVE minutes… It seems like an eternity… I start….

To sing?

Yes….. I sing.

It is a stupid and silly song I made up.

I look out and there are smiles and quiet giggles.

Okay I can handle this.

When I finish the song I start to speak….Well I am talking about me ….This isn’t too difficult….

I relax.

I end my speech about myself.

See it wasn’t so tough.

Well, until the next time I have to get up in front of everyone…. But every time it gets just a smidge easier…

I Hate Writing Stuff So I Start A Blog?

I hate research papers. I hate the discussion boards for my online class. I sometimes work on this great idea I have for a book but eventually I stop writing rarely going back to it. And yet, I started this blog? Why? Lol Dammed if I know but maybe doing it for fun will be good practice for those evil research papers and the discussion boards and the book. Actually I enjoy writing the occasion poem and I really enjoy telling funny stories. I might actually share some of those here. Lets talk a bit about why I hate my research papers and the discussion boards. The requirements are my biggest pet peeve. You want me to write a paper using “peer-reviewed” information….okay no problem….YES IT IS! I find peer reviewed stuff and either I cant understand it cause it was written for people who have a bigger vocabulary and better understanding than I (for I am obviously NOT a peer of this person) or I get told my the teacher/professor whatever that it is not peer reviewed…EXCUSE ME…. I checked and it was. I don’t bother anymore…if I am going to get points off for being wrong anyway I can at least write a great paper and still lose those points but not be as stressed. The thing that annoys me about the discussion boards….. you ask me my OPINION and want me to use resources for it??? It is my “unsubstantiated belief” that…… last I checked ” unsubstantiated” means not verified…. so why do I need to verify what I think? And another thing…. reply to 2 of your classmates discussions….If they cant do the entire discussion which is sometimes two or three parts….how am I supposed to reply…intelligently and with the amount of words I am supposed to use? Not to mention they didn’t hit the word requirement… ugh…so annoying.
Do you have pet peeves about writing? I would love to hear them so please post them in the comments and we can commiserate together ūüôā