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Deep

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you felt like you were on to something? A thought that no one had ever considered before, that would revolutionize the world if they heard? Only to find out that the person you were talking to wasn’t at that level?
Me too. More times than I can count.
 It gets frustrating trying to show the world a different viewpoint. Because everyone is so steeped in how they’ve been shown the world works that they don’t see that one little thought process can change so much.

I was discussing language and how I don’t understand why it changes. What brings on the change? Why does it change? Who started it and why? Here’s an example….. Bae. What brought this on? Why did whoever started this think they needed to shorten babe or baby? Many use it, others laugh at it, but it is considered a common word now. Why?

“Word get changed over time. Or other terms get shortened.”

My response….. They should not.

Language is confusing enough without words changing. And it’s not like it changes itself,  people change it. This is like a person decides ‘I like the word The so I am going to name my child that.’ then you end up with a bunch of kids named The because other people (for some strange reason) thought it was a good name.

Okay I probably over exaggerated but I was making a point. Language should be like math. Math doesn’t change. People understand it….. Far better than language. And remember,  I hate math. But I also find that math doesn’t let me down. All my numbers add up the same way every time. Unlike with language where one day it could mean this… And the next something completely different.  Language should not be malleable.

I don’t care if it is…. The point that I was making is that it shouldn’t be. About this point in the conversation I stop trying to explain myself. It is obvious I’m the only one who gets it. And I’m the weirdo. So,  I hear, were Galileo and Einstein. I doubt I’ll ever reach their genius but they looked at things a different way too. All I’m asking is that people try….. Try to look at a situation, a thought, an emotion, in a different way. Maybe you’ll find something better. 

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Posts

I keep writing posts that I don’t finish and don’t post. I really need to get them done but,  I’ve been busy being a mom, working, living life. 

In fact, this past weekend I went to New York city. I had a wonderful time seeing the sights and visiting friends. I strongly suggest visiting the 9/11 memorial. It is powerful and had me in tears but at the same time a now peaceful place where once there was massive destruction. I loved seeing the survivor tree and sharing with my friend that I learned they give a sapling from the survivor tree to 3 communities a year who suffer a major tragedy. That’s pretty cool. I also liked seeing the memorials in Central Park and battery park. History should not be forgotten. It’s why it bothers mee tearing down of the civil war statues. Sure I don’t agree with their beliefs but it’s a reminder not to make those mistakes. 

 And I may not be a Yankees fan but seeing Babe Ruth’s jersey and all the signed baseballs in the museum at the stadium was neat. 

I also attended my first ever Pride in Brooklyn. It was fascinating. Though I want to discuss a little altercation I saw. This man holding a Bible in the air and shouting hateful things at the people gathered there…. That is so wrong. The Bible I’ve read talks about love. You will reach more people with a few  words of love then with any number of hate. One of my friends and I discussed instead of sending hate back or arguing or listening to this drivel, surround them with love and silence. I would love to hear someone play Sound of Silence by Disturbed as they do this but, that is my sense of humor showing. 

Well, now that I feel accomplished for sharing thoughts, feelings, and a little of what I’ve been up to I’m going to sign off for now. Don’t worry I’ll pop back in again soon. Promise. 

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My No Weight Loss Journey 

I’ve attempted periodically throughout the last few years to lose weight. I start off good, eating better and exercising….. Then I stop and gain all the weight I lost back. Since I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately I contemplated this. Why do I stop trying to lose weight? The answer I came up with is this…… Men.

I currently weigh 217 pounds and men hit on me even though I am not interested. I start losing weight and get hit on more so, subconsciously I start thinking weigh more equals less getting hit on. I truly want to be 130 pounds again…. I just don’t want men to think they have the right to hit on me like I look like I do because I want a man. I just want to be healthy and feel good about myself. 

I recently wrote a blog post called Guys, It’s Not Okay talking about how it’s not okay to assume that a girl is into a guy because she speaks to him. Well, it’s also not okay to think that girl is good looking in your eyes so therefore she wants to have sex with you. No. Girls look good because they want to look good. It helps them feel good about themselves. Powerful. Able to accomplish anything. 

This society has allowed men to objectify women. Women are seen as sexual beings when truth is…… It’s really men. I think men think waaay more about sex than the average woman does. Don’t get me wrong I like a good bout of sex but I learned from a bunch of males how to take almost anything and see it as something sexual. I hate to say it but it’s so much harder to go back to the innocent thought process after learning that than going back to white after black. 

Well, knowing this anyway,  why I stop trying to lose weight, I’m going to try again. Maybe I’ll succeed this time, maybe I won’t but, guys could help by not making the sexual comments that seem to spew out of their mouths without thought. 

 

 

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Guys, It’s Not Okay 

Guys, 

Girls are not here just for sex. They are here for companionship. Girls don’t talk to you just because they are interested in sex. There is probably something about you that interests them but until they get to know you better to know that you are a decent guy it isn’t about sex. It’s not okay to think this way. It’s the whole reason things like rape happens…. In my opinion. Learn to be a companion first. That I believe is the point of dating. Not to get the girl into your bed. Date them. Get to really know them as a friend and companion before the intimacy. It will show her that you respect her and truly care for her. 

I hope to instill this thought process into my son, despite his father. I hope our future generations learn from ours. I hope that someday women are seen as the equals they really are to men. 

Companionship. Trust. Respect. Love. 

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11.5.16

Today is my 35th birthday. I hate my birthdays. Once when I was young I probably looked forward to them but, as I got older my birthday started to be associated with bad things happening. This year seems no different. My car is broken, the truck I bought has an issue I’m trying to figure out and fix, because of those two problems I canceled plans to hang out with a friend tonight, my kids have been arguing and having tempers all day, and then I yelled at them for the arguing, yelling, and not doing their chores which resulted in my son pretty much telling me that I am no longer his parent. Yup great day. Maybe someday they’ll get better but I’ve lost all hope of that. 

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Last week

So my plans for posting once a day, once again, went by the wayside. With Monday being a holiday I pretty much relaxed. Watched a ton of NCIS my favorite show, did minor cleaning, and did the laundry. The Friday before I got my cat fixed and got pulled over for no inspection sticker. Now there is a story because the cop pulled me over for no inspection sticker but, I also left my wallet at home so no driver’s license and for some strange reason my registration for the vehicle I was driving was in the glove box of my other vehicle (I was unaware of this until I tried to give the cop my registration). He actually, much to my surprise, let me go. The rest of the week I was tired or stressed about bills due so I slept alot. Had appointments that kids needed to go to and I managed to get them to their respective appointments. I have however started working on writing a book. Some silly thing I have wanted to do for awhile and I finally decided what the hell let’s start. (No I am not going to post the story here don’t be silly I just started writing it) Hope everyone has a great week and I will try to continue to post well whatever I feel like writing.:)

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Columbus Day

I hear every holiday some complaint over it. Today is Columbus Day and I’m seeing things like started genocide and indigenous heritage. I’m sorry but Columbus had nothing to do with the killings of native Americans. Whether one likes it or not the fact that Columbus landed in America in October of 1492, is part of our history. It is FACT. The wars on the natives of America didn’t start until 1622. Stop blaming him for every bit of history that happened after he arrived on our shores. By this thought process, we can blame Columbus for the current wars going on now. If he hadn’t landed here then September 11,2001 wouldn’t have happened. Or the Boston Marathon bombing. Or the hate that many people across the ocean has for us, Americans. I’m tired of hearing all the complaints about holidays celebrating or remembering parts of our history. I tired of hearing complaints about ANY holiday. Some people actually enjoy celebrating these holidays and all these complaints are doing is bringing them down. You DO NOT have to celebrate. (Amazing idea huh?) Let those who wish to celebrate enjoy there celebration , whatever the holiday may be. 

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Farming Life

​Farming is never easy. Sometimes it can be downright frustrating. You do all you can do and still crap happpens. Your livestock dies or gets eaten. Your plants won’t grow, or they die, or get eaten. You get sick or they get sick. All kinds of things happen.

The other day, when I got home from work, I found a note from my daughter. Apparently some of the chicks died and she didn’t understand because she’d been caring for them. I know she was as I would double check everyday. My prognosis is the little stupid birds drowned. It happens. You just try to prevent them doing that in the future. Life is a learning process and so is farming. 

We still have a couple of chicks doing well. Hopefully we can get them to a healthy adulthood and enjoy them for a longer time then we were their poor siblings.

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My Best Friend, M. C. 

I have two best friends. I’m going to talk about M. C.  here. M. C. is going through a tough time. She just had a baby and a week after having the baby her boyfriend, the baby’s dad, passed away. To top all that off his birthday would have been the next week. She’s now the sole provider and caretaker of three gorgeous girls, ranging in age from 11 to newborn. My heart breaks for her. 

Tonight she was talking about journaling, which has been helping her cope with the loss. And I realized that I am sadly lacking on my own blog so here I write. 

I just met M. C.’s boyfriend two days before he died. I told him to take care of my woman. When I heard that he was gone I was angry at him. It was an accident but I didn’t care. He’s no longer around to care for my best friend and her girls. 

Sure, I didn’t know him well enough to grieve like M. C.  is, but I am working my way through my feelings on his death. I’m going to be there for the family for the rest of their lives. Do anything I can to help. She’s my best friend.